they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
