so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
