bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
