Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
