I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize