dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think my tv is drunk
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
