Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
