In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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