Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
