youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
