i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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