I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
