I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
