in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Someone came in the potted fern
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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