Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
