I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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