and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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