Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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