Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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