five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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