just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
