I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
