you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
