We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
