You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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