summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
