Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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