I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
