butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He passed out mid-signature
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
