its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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