Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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