Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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