it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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