Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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