In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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