You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
