I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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