apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Too much gin, very little bucket
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
