nut hugger
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
