your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
