Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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