She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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