I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
