so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I supernannyed him into submission
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
