Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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