Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
