pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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