the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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