Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
