Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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