She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
