Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
