I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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