It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
