There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
