sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
