Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
