So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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