: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
