she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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