Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
